Editor’s note: As people all across the U.S. stand up for victims of domestic violence during National Crime Victims’ Rights Week, Leader Publications takes a closer look at the problem of domestic violence in southwest Michigan. Next in our series, Child & Family Services officials in Benton Harbor talked about the organization’s safe shelter and resources for domestic violence survivors.

BENTON HARBOR — Survivors, not victims.

That’s how Kelly Nightingale refers to the women and children who come to her asking for refuge from abusive relationships. Though the bruises and scars they bear are both internal and external, she sees the power they have to transform, become stronger and leave the ones who oppress and hurt them.

Nightingale is the director of programs for Child & Family Services of Southwestern Michigan, a Benton Harbor-based nonprofit that offers a multitude of services to domestic violence and sexual assault survivors.

For families fleeing a dangerous domestic violence situation, the organization’s Safe Shelter for Domestic Violence offers a refuge.

“We help them as far as having a chance to be safe and decompress a little bit from their crisis,” Nightingale said. “We work at developing a plan for their next steps.”

The safe shelter is open 24/7 and has 13 beds. Families are typically served on a first come, first serve basis and are asked to contact the crisis line at (269) 925-9500 to gain access and directions to the shelter.

Oftentimes though, those beds are full. Last year, Nightingale said 600 people visited the shelter when there was no occupancy and the organization had to find another shelter to take them in. This is not easy to do, given that there are not many shelters around, Nightingale said.

Typically, those seeking shelter will be sent to South Bend, Holland or even as far as Three Rivers, which is about an hour away. Nightingale said with so few shelters in close proximity this can often make things more complicated for families seeking refuge, especially if they have jobs and school in the Berrien County area. Transportation services are offered to families transported outside the county, but the problem remains clear, Nightingale said.

“There is not a shelter for every county,” Nightingale said. “Some shelters are covering five counties. We cover only one. Part of that is because we have such a high need in Berrien County.”

Nightingale said administration is currently in a planning process and seeking a way to address the overflow.

“It’s a bit of a struggle,” Nightingale said. “Thirteen beds are not nearly enough.”

Shelter residents are permitted to stay for up to 90 days, though an extension can be approved if warranted. Nightingale said the timeframe is based on how difficult it is to find safe and affordable housing in the area.

Staff who help to run the shelter receive several hours of training. Among them is safe shelter supervisor Rachel Downs. Her training expertise can be heard, even in her answering machine. 

Before the tone sounds on her phone, the safe shelter supervisor’s message asks callers to indicate whether or not it is safe for her to call them back. Sometimes, it is not. But domestic violence victims seeking refuge can still arrange a way to meet with Downs that will not put themselves in more danger.

The message is one of many precautions that Downs and other staff with the Child & Family Services of Southwestern Michigan, Inc. put into practice to help those stuck in an abusive relationship.

“Because the relationship is so controlling, access to phones and computers are likely to be monitored,” Downs said. “Sometimes we have to get really creative.”

At the shelter, Downs often sees the same face twice. She said it takes between seven to 10 times for a victim to successfully leave their abusive situation. Leaving the situation might not be easy, Downs said. And the victim could be threatened or financially dependent on the assailant. Still, officials hope the organization’s resources offer a way for them to escape.

In addition to the safe shelter, the program offers a variety of outreach programs, such as crisis intervention, crisis response, legal advocacy, support groups and counseling. Referrals for resources for men can also be provided. The programs are all free to users and supported by grants and donations through MISHDA, the Violence Against Women Act and Victim of Crime Assistance, to name a few.

One thing the services cannot do is convince a domestic violence survivor to not return to their abusive relationship. While Nightingale said the organization can suggest they leave the relationship, ultimately it is up to the survivor to make that choice and when they do, Child & Family Services will be there to help.

To help the cause, those interested can sign up to volunteer with any number of programs offered by Child & Family Services or donate money. For more information, visit cfsswmi.org.