Every night as she sits down for dinner, 9-year-old Carlee Gibson thanks her mother for making the meal.

It’s a simple gesture, but one that tugs at her mother’s heartstrings.

“(Carlee) says it every time — every single time,” said Jessica Gibson. “It’s hard because you know there’s an old life attached. … There was a time when she didn’t know if food was going to be on the table.”

Jessica, 29, and her husband, James, 30, became foster parents of Carlee and her biological sisters, Marissa, 11, and Jenna, 8, in 2006. They later adopted all three.

Jessica didn’t want to dredge up the painful details of the sisters’ previous family life, but said they came from a traumatic situation.

“When we got (Carlee) it was Feb. 28. Her birthday was March 2,” she said. “She never knew what her birthday was. … She didn’t know a birthday cake, she didn’t know she got presents. Nothing.”

The Gibsons are among the approximately 40 licensed foster families for the Cass County Department of Human Services.

According to the program’s child services supervisor, Kristen Williams, there are currently 150 youth in the county’s foster care system. Around 40 percent are placed outside the county, with many children being split from their siblings, because there aren’t enough licensed foster families to take them in Cass County.

“There’s a real big need for foster families,” Williams said. “One of the real issues our children face when they are placed outside of the county is they lose their sense of community. They often can’t stay in the same school, participate in the same groups, like 4-H or little league. … When you lose that it is very traumatic for a child.”

 

We don’t want kids

The Gibsons are the lead pastors at Victory Tabernacle PC of God in Dowagiac.

Jessica, a Dowagiac native, and James, originally fron Flint, met at a youth camp in Hillsdale in the summer of 2001.

They were married in 2004.

Neither wanted children.

“We both knew we didn’t want our own children between us. That was something we agreed on when we got married,” Jessica said. “It’s not like I can’t have children — there really wasn’t a reason. I just wanted to be with him and he wanted to be with me.”

That early decision changed a couple of years later when the two were driving to South Bend, Ind., to do some shopping. On the way, the radio played an advertisement about the need for foster families in the area.

Neither one of them talked about it at first, but both remember hearing the ad and how it had stirred up an urge deep inside them.

Being people of deep faith, the Gibsons believe God meant for them to hear the ad.

Some three weeks later, the topic of fostering came up.

“We both looked at each other and something sparked that conversation again,” James said. “We’d been tossing around the idea in our own heads, but neither one of us knew that.”

Both quickly agreed to begin the process toward becoming a licensed foster family. They welcomed Marissa, Carlee and Jenna — their first foster placements — into their home Feb. 28, 2006. Since then, they’ve fostered approximately 30 children and adopted four, including Martha, 17, in 2009.

Looking back on their original decision not to have children, James said it now makes perfect sense. God meant for them to be a foster family.

“There was something else in store for us,” James said.

“Everyone feels like there’s a calling in their life and this is mine,” Jessica said. “This is my heart. This is my passion.”

 

Full house

When the Gibsons welcome a foster child into their home, they make sure that child feels welcome.

“We never make the foster children feel like foster children. They are part of our family right away,” said Jessica. “We don’t introduce them as foster children. They are members of the family.”

The Gibsons’ adopted daughters help too, buying each new foster child a present before showing them around the house.

“We try to teach our kids that they have the opportunity to give back,” James said. “After all, the girls know what it is like to come into a strange home, not knowing what to expect.”

The Gibsons currently have two foster children living with them, making for a full house. James said they have to be very structured and organized to make it work.

“We live by calendars,” he said. “By 8:30 in the morning we’ve already been to five schools or day cares. Then we go to work, do what we have to do, and in the afternoon it starts again.”

Jessica and James strive to take one day off a week — usually Monday — in order to make sure their marriage remains strong.

“We try to do something together and usually it’s just us — unless school is cancelled,” James said. “Let’s just say it’s been a long January for us.”

Marissa said she enjoys having so many people around the house.

“You are never alone — there’s always someone to play with and talk to. I just feel happy,” she said.

Despite the seemingly hectic lifestyle, the Gibsons say they wouldn’t change a thing.

“I thought we were pretty cool seven years ago,” said James. “Now, our hearts are overwhelmed for the compassion of children. There’s not a child we see that doesn’t have potential.”

 

Impacting lives

Jessica said most foster children come to them confused and scared, not knowing what is next or where they are going.

Their job, Jessica said, is to make sure each child feels loved and cared for while they have them.

“I love to see the transformation six months later when they are smiling and they are happy,” she said.

The time in which the Gibsons have a foster child ranges greatly from a few days to several months. Ultimately, they are the caretakers until DHS determines what to do next, whether that be reuniting a child with his or her biological family, or terminating the parental rights of the biological parents altogether.

“The truth is this is about getting the children back home,” James said. “We support that process. Until the very end of the case, until the last word is said, that’s what we believe in.”

The Gibsons said it can be difficult to let go, especially if they’ve been with a child for a long time.

“There are tears, but what our family does is we pray for every child that has been in our home, for their safety and protection,” Jessica said.

“After a year they become the product of something you’re really invested in, so yes, it is hard,” James said.

Those interested in learning more about becoming a foster family for the Cass County DHS should contact Kristen Williams at (269) 303-4112.

While being a foster parent isn’t for everyone, the Gibsons said it has been an extremely rewarding and worthwhile experience for them.

“This is our heart and we will continue to do it,” James said. “The relationship with the DHS is so important and I’m happy to say we have a great relationship. It’s never flopped on us.”

The Gibsons recalled one foster child — a teenage girl — who stayed with them for only a few days before she could be moved to a relative’s home. The girl pinned a note to the wall before she left, telling the Gibsons how much she appreciated them and the impact they had on her life in just two days.

“We didn’t find it until about a week later. It just melted us, it broke our hearts,” James said. “Our sense is that whether they are here for a month or six months, if we can have that impact and they can look back in 20 years and say, ‘If it wasn’t for those foster parents I might not have made it.’ That’s why we do it.”