My wife and I recently asked our oldest daughter how she wanted to celebrate her looming seventh birthday, offering up a few suggestions and expecting this would be an easy decision for a child who can be impetuous when it comes to fun.

She surprised us first by saying she wanted to think about it for a few days and then again when she opted to forgo a slumber party, roller skating and other options here locally that would include her friends from first grade at Ballard Elementary.

In the end, she chose a trip to Great Wolf Lodge indoor waterpark in Cincinnati, one of her favorite places in the world — or at least most favorite place in the limited sliver of the world she has experienced in her seven years of life. My daughter made this decision expecting it was just going to be mom, dad and her sister there but some other family members ultimately joined us.

As I was eating breakfast in a café Sunday morning and browsing through the weekend edition of USA Today, the headline “All the toys in the world can’t replace a dad” hit home for me. You can read the article here: tinyurl.com/morethantoys

The author, Donna Freydkin, wrote about the importance of spending quality time with your children and how the newest widget can never replace that. Freydkin’s husband was diagnosed with brain cancer and died three months after her son Alex’s first birthday.

I couldn’t even imagine how difficult this time must have been for the new mom and Freydkin shared some great advice she was given shortly after the loss. A therapist on staff at Alex’s child care program told Freydkin not to try to fill the void in her son’s life with toys and material things.

But forewarned isn’t always forearmed.

Although the mother agreed that this would not be good for her son, she soon found herself in this all-too-common parenting quicksand. A never-ending string of gifts and surprises sort of took over their lives.

The end result was exactly that for which she was cautioned. Alex had come to expect every toy he desired and his healthy development likely somewhat suffered. Freydkin is now doing what many of us fail to do and that is working to change the material focus and alter the expectations she created.

“… My son, he’s a magical, wondrous being. You know what he appreciates? Not more Autobots. Not new nunchuks, although he’d never turn them down,” Freydkin wrote. “But me sitting with him, listening to his stories about the tumble he learned at gym class, and following through on my promise to pick him up early from school and take him for hot chocolate. And all that is something Amazon can’t deliver.”

So this thought was fresh in my mind the rest of the weekend as I rode slide after slide with my daughter, chased her and her sister through water sprays, lazy rivers, wave pools and more. And although my daughter did receive a few presents, these weren’t what she talked about or remembered. Freydkin’s point was truly driven home that evening when my daughter looked at me and said, “This has been the best birthday ever. I had so much fun with my family.”

It was her birthday, but my wife and I are the ones who truly received the gifts.

 

 Michael Caldwell is the publisher of Leader Publications LLC. He can be reached at (269) 687-7700 or by email at mike.caldwell@leaderpub.com.