A Touch of Levity: While attending Vassar College in New York, I realized I had lost one of my favorite earrings. Distraught, I told our housemother, an elderly Italian woman who advised me to pray to St. Anthony, patron saint of lost items. “But I’m Jewish,” I explained. “I cannot pray to St. Anthony.” She looked at me and thought hard for a few moments. Leaning toward me, she whispered, “Don’t tell him.”

Danish Applesauce Cake
Ingredients:
5 c. buttered breadcrumbs
1/2 c. rich milk
1 tsp. salt
Sweetened applesauce
Sugar to taste

Directions:
Add milk to breadcrumbs. Sprinkle with sugar, then add salt. Place in skillet and brown. Place alternate layers of breadcrumbs and applesauce into well-greased angel food cake pan. Bake at 350 degrees until cake shrinks down from sides. Turn onto rack to cool. When cool, top with whipped cream and dab with fruit-flavored jelly.

A Touch of Levity: During the week preceding Christmas vacation, my child’s second grade parochial school teacher related the story of the birth of Christ, telling part of the narrative each day. On the fourth day, she quizzed the children, “What is baby Jesus’ mother’s name?” “Mary! Mary! Mary!” they answered, waving their little hands in the air. “Wonderful!” Sister congratulated them. “Now, what is baby Jesus’ father’s name?” Silence filled the classroom. Finally, one small boy jumped up, pumping his hand wildly toward the ceiling. “I know, Sister!” he shouted. “It’s Virg!” “Virg?” the stunned nun asked. “Yeah,” explained the child. “You know … everybody’s heard of Virg and Mary.”

Best Bloomin’ Baked Fudge
Ingredients:
4 eggs, well beaten
1/2 c. flour
1 c. butter, melted
2 c. granulated sugar
1/2 c. cocoa
1 c. pecans, chopped
Dash salt
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 c. heavy cream, whipped, or vanilla ice cream

Directions:
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease 9-by-9-inch baking pan. Beat together eggs, flour, sugar, cocoa and salt until well-blended. Mix in butter. Add pecans and vanilla extract. Pour into prepared pan. Set into shallow pan of boiling water and bake for 45 minutes or until set like custard. Do not overbake. Cool completely and then cut into squares. Top with whipped cream or ice cream.

Delicious Chili
Ingredients:
(3) 12 oz. cans tomato sauce
(4) 1 oz. pkgs. chili seasoning
3 large green peppers, chopped
4 large onions, chopped
3 c. water
2 lbs. ground beef
2 lbs. round steak, cubed
1 tbsp. vinegar
3-4 chopped jalapenos, to taste

Directions:
Combine tomato sauce, chili seasoning, onions, peppers and water in heavy 10- to 12-quart Dutch oven over medium heat. In large skillet, brown beef, sausage and steak. Drain. Add meat to tomato mixture. Stir in vinegar and jalapenos. Cover and reduce heat to simmer. Stirring occasionally, simmer six to eight hours. This is actual Texas chili – no beans allowed.
Serves 16-20.

Snow Peas and Zucchini
Ingredients:
2 tbsp. butter (no substitutes)
1/2 c. walnuts, coarsely chopped
2 medium-sized zucchini, cut into half lengthwise and sliced quarter-inch thick
3/4 tsp. salt
Pinch of thyme
2 c. fresh sugar snap or snow peas or 16 oz. pkg. frozen Chinese pea pods, thawed

Directions:
Melt butter in large skillet. Add walnuts and sauté 5 minutes or until lightly browned and crunchy. Remove with slotted spoon. In same skillet, sauté zucchini 5 minutes or until tender. Sprinkle with salt and thyme. Add peas and walnuts. Heat, stirring 3 minutes or until peas are slightly tender and warmed through. Serve immediately.

Bee in a Bonnet
Ingredients:
2 c. granulated sugar
2 c. water
3 c. unsweetened apple juice
2 c. unsweetened pineapple juice
2 c. apricot nectar
1 1/4 c. lemon juice
(1) 6 oz. can frozen orange juice concentrate, thawed
Ice ring
2 qt. ginger ale, chilled
2/5 bottle champagne, chilled

Directions:
Make syrup by boiling sugar and water for 1 minute. Cool. Add apple, pineapple, apricot, lemon and orange juices. Chill. Pour over ice ring in  punch bowl. Add ginger ale and champagne just before serving.
Makes 5 quarts or 40 4-ounce servings.

A Touch of Levity: An 11-year-old, new to skiing, found herself tumbling down the slope more often than not. After one such minor disaster, an experienced skier engaged into conversation. “What do you plan to be when you grow up?” he asked. “An avalanche, I think,” was the woeful reply.