On the real first day of spring ­­—  that day when it finally felt like spring might have sprung (temperatures in the low 70’s, trees budding out, birds chirping, and motorcycles rumbling across the Main Street Bridge) – Harrison Winkle stood in his yard, sizing up the possibilities for his first outdoor project of the season.

For all of December and well into the New Year, every time Harry’s driveway saw snow accumulation approaching a half inch, he bundled up in his Carhartt coveralls and Wolverine boots, put his Snowchucker-6000 through its paces, and spewed a rooster-tail of augured white powder 20-feet in any desired direction. However, as the snow continued to fall (and fall, and fall), and something called a polar vortex placed a strangle hold over the Center of the Universe,  Harry found himself staring out the front window, conducting twelve-ounce driveway inspections — lifting a can of beer to his lips, drinking in a swallow, lowering the can while contemplating the amount of hassle involved in clearing the driveway, slowly returning the can of beer to his lips, followed by another swallow, then repeating the process until the can was empty and his desire to bundle up and charge out onto the frozen tundra had passed.

As a recent retiree, Harry had spent the better part of the past three months working in quality control, testing the structural integrity of his recliner, television remote control and refrigerator door seals. He was ready to get outside and get his hands elbow-deep into a project.

But what project should he tackle first?

His masonry chimney was starting to show signs of age. It was no longer needed because his new-fangled, high efficiency furnace pushed exhaust gasses out through plastic pipes. The installation technician tried to explain why the chimney was no longer needed and why the plastic pipes don’t melt, but that came after he had given Harry instructions on how to work the programmable thermostat. Everything after that is still a little fuzzy. Harry considered several key factors on how (and if) he should knock down the chimney — none of which, seemed like an effective way to spend his first, nice day outdoors.

His lawn could have stood a little grooming due to a winter’s worth of snow-dispersed leaves, tree twigs, and branches. Harry leaned against his rake and carefully surveyed the well-defined geographic regions of his yard. Carefully, he calculated the amount of debris density in each location, wind speed and direction, along with the amount of ibuprofen in his medicine cabinet, and concluded that the math just didn’t add up. It was far too nice of a day to follow it up, tomorrow, with a chiropractor appointment.

Harry also noticed that his gutters needed to be cleaned, but cleaning the gutters required the ladder which was stored behind the Snowchucker-6000, requiring the snow blower being moved to the back shed, requiring the lawn mower to be dragged out of the shed to make room for the snow blower, requiring the seat cushions for the wicker furniture to be… Those gutters could wait another few weeks.

Harry continued his outdoor assessment and noticed several projects that absolutely could be done, probably should be done, but definitely did not seem like any fun. He could clean a years’ worth of grime off the windows, or spread crabgrass killer, maybe wash his truck and detail the interior, tamp down gopher tunnels — none of which appealed to Harry as the best project to tackle on the first day filled of such beautiful spring weather.

Then it hit him. Harry dug through his winter-cluttered garage, climbed behind the grill, squeezed passed the weed wacker and fertilizer spreader, reached over the pressure washer and hauled out the most important piece of equipment made for the most pressing first project of the outdoor season — his zero-gravity, reclining deck chair, with cup holder and fold up side table (perfect for 12-ounce lawn inspections).

Larry Wilson is a mostly lifelong resident of Niles. His essays stem from experiences, compilations and recollections from friends and family. He can be reached at wflw@hotmail.com