A Michigan music hero who played as Elton John’s bassist for 20 years was celebrated last Sunday at a ceremony at Mount Sinai in Los Angeles. Attending the funeral was an experience made up of equal parts sadness and inspiration for me. From the media, I learned that Detroit native Robert Wayne “Bob” Birch died of a gunshot wound to the head in an apparent suicide on Aug. 15 — the same man that I watched the Kalamazoo crowd cheer passionately when Elton and the band played there in March.

At the ceremony, with a simplicity that bridged generations and vocations, Birch’s 90-year-old father-in-law described with passion Birch’s feeling of accomplishment working for “the King of Music, Mr. Elton John,” sharing that he knew as a man how his son-in-law must’ve felt to achieve “the greatest job” in his field. As a man, his words about Birch broke my heart.

Several other musician friends shared that before Birch landed his dream gig, he would say yes to any gig that came his way as a live player or session musician. He took every one. One of those projects was the Jeff Cameron project I mixed last winter in Benton Harbor for producer Gary Cambra (Tubes, Jefferson Starship). Birch had played bass on the entire album nearly 20 years ago, but it had been shelved and left unfinished. Being a bassist myself, I had to ask who the bassist was as I loved and appreciated every perfect note of his parts — simple or melodic — for the weeks I was mixing. I had looked forward to delivering the CD to Bob as the tour continued so he could hear how it finally turned out after two decades of suspended animation, a musical letter he helped create that finally returned to him.

Among the handful of speakers, it was another Michigander, drummer Gregg Bissonette (David Lee Roth, Ringo Starr) who recalled the first time he ever saw Bob Birch, playing bass with a jazz band in St. Clair Shores. It wasn’t just his great bass playing that made Birch memorable, but also the alto sax slung around his neck that Birch switched to in midsong and subsequently blew the room away. After Birch got his teaching degree at Wayne State University. he headed to LA to continue to build his reputation as a player’s player. After recording on outside projects with Elton John’s guitarist, the great Davey Johnstone, Birch was asked to join Elton’s band without an audition.

Birch was praised by many at the funeral for never playing a wrong note, never being stumped on how to play a popular song and never letting a friend in need down. He was described by Elton John bandmate Kim Bullard as being “macho” with an underlying heart of gold, a wickedly funny man of few words and someone who was “always open for business” for a friend.

In the few days before the funeral, I was  affected by and preoccupied by the question, “why?” Only those who were closest to Bob knew that he had lived with excruciating daily pain after being struck by a vehicle that jumped the curb in 1995 while attempting to cross the street. His back and legs were broken and he was expected to never walk again, yet recovered. The 2012 tour found him in such pain, he was forced to sit on several dates (not in Kalamazoo). All this was tucked away behind his beaming onstage smile, every day.

After 17 years of this pain, the man who was the continual rock for friends, the provider for his wife and adult son and the bass foundation of the Elton John band decided to go out standing up, not lying down. It wasn’t his style. He had made sure his family was taken care of and simply could take no more as his condition debilitated.

In a certain way, Birch deserves respect for this way of thinking despite the pain of loss so many feel.

His life and legacy sends a strong message to the rest of us in the creative/artistic tribe. We can all work harder to make it happen. Most of us will never know a tenth of the physical adversity he faced during the prime of his life, so step up the use of your gifts. Separate from his creative legacy, a second message was also equally clear in the two hour’s worth of words and memories from friends and family: This is how to be a better man.

Dave Carlock is a 25-year veteran of the entertainment business whose work as a recording engineer and producer, touring musician, and songwriter made him Googleable. His continuing work as an Independent Content Creator of Sound and Image has earned him a Grammy Award certificate, two Platinum Record Awards, and a Paragon Award in advertising. Currently, he brings national and international artists to make records and music videos at his production studio in the Benton Harbor Arts District. www.davecarlock.com