I’ve never met her, which is, maybe, a little sad since my mother credits her for saving her life. Not having met her, however, does not mean I do not know her as mom has spent the last few years talking about her and the last few months talking about her aggressive illness.

She has not shared her struggle publicly and very few people know the details of her health situation, so excuse me for being vague with the details, but they are not mine to share.

My mother met her during a horrible time for much of my family.

My parents, after 37 years of marriage, were separated, heading towards divorce and ugliness surrounded us.

Mom has a strong group of friends, but most of them were married and though they were sympathetic, they lacked the experience to be empathetic.

She also had her sisters and a wide and varied support network, but there just aren’t a lot of people with experience in getting divorced at her particular stage in life.

Perhaps more importantly, no matter how many people care about you and listen to you, at some point, you need to stop talking and start doing.

Grief, shame and self-pity had pushed my mom to her “Shawshank Redemption” moment.

It was time to “get busy living or get busy dying” and while mom had taken quite a few punches to the head, kicks to the gut and maybe even a few illegal shots below the belt, she wasn’t ready to throw in the towel.

Salvation though does not often come solely from within and my mother found hers in a group of women. They got together a few times a week to engage in what, to keep it discreet,  I’ll describe as a physical and artistic endeavor.

My mother did not bring any special training or talent to this particular activity, but that did not stop the teacher from encouraging her.

At first for mom, it was just about doing something, but rather quickly it became a passion for the activity and a shared joy in the people she did it with.

Without the teacher that would not have happened. And, probably, in that room with my mother are quite a few other stories of despair and salvation – tales of people who needed something and found it through someone who was kind enough to offer.

So, in her time of need, the teacher is not asking for, or taking, help from my mom or any of her other students.

What she should know, though, is when you save people – even if you didn’t know that’s what you were doing – they will gladly stand with you no matter what demons stand in your path.

When not by design or plan, but by the simple kindness of who you are and how you treat people, you can help them find the will to go on and restore their capacity for joy, then you never truly face anything alone.

Few people possess the ability to help others find light when darkness surrounds them and I’m thankful that this woman – who probably has not given a second thought to the magic she has performed – was there when she was needed.

I hope that in her time of need, that no matter how dark it gets, she retains some comfort from knowing she didn’t just teach a class, she taught people  – my mother especially – how to be more than they were.

Giving someone the gift of being able to be happy is something that cannot be repaid, but will always be appreciated.

Daniel B. Kline’s work appears in over 100 papers weekly.
He can be reached at dan@notastep.com or you can see his archive at dbkline.com or befriend him at facebook.com/dankline.