Mothers just do the best they can
Published 4:22 am Wednesday, May 9, 2007
By Staff
They do not come with an operating manual or list of instructions.
The day you become a mother and see a tiny version of yourself, husband, or even your own father, you are on your own.
Without a handbook, but the help of many other people who offer advice, you work your way through motherhood the best you can.
I remember just watching my baby sleeping, worried when he was too quiet. Worried his breath would stop, or he would be trapped in his covers, or fall through the bars of the cradle his grandfather had made.
Some of us make choices of when we want to become a mother. Sometimes the news comes as a surprise.
You may be giving up a career, or be glad to stay home, or now have to shuffle between day care, a job and chores around the home.
Mothers come in all sizes and shapes.
When I look back I can't believe what a good mother I had. She was full of common sense and wisdom. She did have some practice when I came along, as I was the baby, but still she really did have eyes in the back of her head.
She taught us independence, something I treasured and hopefully also gave my children.
She balanced our lives, not overdoing the extra activities and giving us time to play outside, dream and use our imagination.
My mother volunteered at our schools, making costumes and helping in the classroom. At our church, she sewed the altar boys outfits. (Back then, girls weren't allowed on the altar.) She taught me to give to others of time, along with money.
She insisted on honesty. I didn't want to let her down. The few times I tried to pull one over on her, I can still remember 50 years later.
She, along with my father, grew our vegetables and helped me learn to like them from little on.
When money was needed, she went out and got a job at a bank.
She joined the Business and Professional Women's Club and became their leader.
Her career would continue until she was 82.
The best of what I received from my mother though I would have to say was her "good humor."
"Always keep your good humor," she would say.
Through my life, whenever there were turns for the bad, I would look on them as a small setback and try and see some good.
I may have been accused of laughing and not seeing the seriousness of the situation, but what good would it do to just mope.
Mother's Day approaches, I feel good about my choice – staying home for my children's early years. I was lucky to do so, but I also helped out by babysitting and renting costumes each Halloween.
I too planted a garden and froze vegetables. I sewed their clothes and my own.
Maybe I would be a big executive at a metropolitan newspaper now, but would my children be as successful as they are today.
Mothers continue to do what is best for their children. They eat the chicken wings, after the family has made their favorite choices off the bird.
They make sure their children get to their baseball game in time, even if it means their own needs are put last.
If your mother is still alive, concentrate on all the good things she did. I know she made mistakes, because I know I did.
Treasure her for all she did right. After all, she chose to give birth to you, instead of making a far different choice, leaving you to never experience our wonderful world.