By By JOHN EBY / Dowagiac Daily News
Gas prices through the roof.
Turbulence in the Middle East.
What's a body to do to avoid "blowing a gasket" and relax? Especially the movers and shakers, the "doers of Dowagiac. What do they do to insure the community "keeps moving forward in the correct direction," Beth Dean asked Rotarians Thursday noon at Elks Lodge 889.Dean, Kalamazoo-based sales representative for Airway Oxygen Inc. in a five-county area, draws in listeners with her soothing spiel for "spelling refreshment."
"In these trying times we are in," she said, "it's imperative that we learn to stay refreshed so that we can keep on our journey in this life. First of all, we want to employ a principle called 'speak it right.' The tongue has the power of life and death … Isn't that an exaggeration?
Dean says how you talk to yourself can set the tone for your entire day.
"When you wake up in the morning and start by saying, 'Oh, I'm so tired. I don't feel rested at all," even if you've had a full night's sleep, "and repeat that, 'I'm all worn out,' many, many times by afternoon you're going to feel tired. Likewise, on a day you know for sure you haven't had enough sleep, wake up and go, 'Oh! I'm so refreshed! What a wonderful day! I feel great! Repeat that as many times as you can throughout the morning until noon and guess what? You're going to start feeling better. You're going to feel refreshed and ready to go."
That's because "there's actual physiological proof now that the speech center does directly affect the central nervous system," Dean said.
With a video clip of Chevy Chase golfing in the comedy "Caddyshack," Dean illustrated the idea "that there is perhaps a place for some formal meditation in our lives. I'm not necessarily referring to sitting in a yoga position that we would be unable to get out of if we were ever able to get there anyway."
Another concept "tells us that whatever is pure, good and true, think on it," Dean said. "I beg to differ with you that you can't control your thoughts" when distracted by other obligations.
"Thought stopping" is a technique to keep at bay "bad, nasty thoughts" that would not pass muster with Rotary's four-way test. "Simply say to yourself, 'Stop,' " she suggested. "That may sound very elementary, but there is something to that. Whether you whisper it, think it or, better yet, verbalize it – stop! – you do interrupt that thought process, and you can literally take a second and switch your thoughts like a channel on the TV. Get yourself thinking once again about what is pure, good and true. You'll feel better about yourself, happier about your life and what's going on. I'm not saying you need to walk around in the land of denial in a state of confusion and out of touch with reality in your thought process. Let's be honest. Don't we feel better when in our own minds we can visualize things as peaceful, serene and nice? Even on the worst of days, if you take a few moments and maybe reflect on a happy time in your family or something you did that made you feel good or a vacation. Those moments, memories, thoughts and feelings are there. You can put yourself back there for a moment – but please, don't close your eyes while you're driving."
Visualizing what is "pure, good and true" will "refresh you," Dean promised.
Second, talk to yourself "and even answer," she said, defining "covert talk" and "overt talk."
"Overt talk" can be refreshing "if the voices are not talking back," said Dean, who might be glimpsed in her vehicle running through her day as a way of processing her jumbled thoughts.
"Sometimes, if I'm in a dilemma, I might even answer back," Dean related. "If I do that, my gosh, think of all the gossip I can save. I don't need to be out there chattering and calling people on the phone with my latest problem. Do that with due caution and with the right person at the right time for the right motive."
Consulting a counselor, a pastor or even an attorney has its place, she allowed, but her laundry room in Almena doubles as her sounding board.
She unloads what's on her mind while unloading clean clothes from the dryer.
The reflection yields answers and sometimes an apology to her husband.
"It's not always easy to do," Dean said, "but by talking it out to my laundry room, instead of getting on the horn with a girlfriend and going over all the horrible things he did or that he said, I find it much more fruitful to talk it out and even come to that conclusion that it's okay, I've answered myself, I need to go apologize and be the bigger person and bite the bullet."
Covert talk might be ideas rattling around in your head that are left unverbalized, like, "Gee, I wish that lady would shup up so we can get on with our business. You've spared my feelings and maintained your composure in the group. There are many virtues to both covert and overt self-talk. Gossip will never refresh anybody and only leads to hurt and bruised feelings and a whole lot of scuttlebutt that I know goes against" the Rotary four-way test.
"Another interesting concept is leaving the past behind," she said. "You don't have to carry baggage that gets heavier and drags you down. Dump the garbage and move forward. How do we do that? It's easier said than done."
One way to spell refreshment in Dowagiac is to know what community resources are available.
"There are many more available to Cass County in general and Dowagiac than what many may realize. Recently, to illustrate this point," Dean said, "Rana (Lechlitner) and I formed Cass County Connections," a monthly networking group, "so we can learn about what each other has to offer. We have grown to nearly 40 members."
On June 8 Cass County Connections held its first Caregivers Health Fair at Dowagiac Nursing Home courtyard for a "forgotten population."
With Airway Oxygen Inc. (www.airwayoxygeninc.com), a home medical and rehabilitation equipment and supplies company, Dean covers five counties – Cass, Van Buren, Berrien, St. Joseph and Kalamazoo – from her office in Kalamazoo and an office in Benton Harbor.