By Staff
These words introduce the concept of civility and polite manners.
They add a gentle and genteel quality to relationships and communication.
They also introduce the concept of polite conversation.
At times I wonder if polite conversation has become extinct.
What happened to "please" and "thank you"?
What has happened to polite chit-chat?
Have we become so time-conscious that we can't spend a few seconds exchanging some nice words?
Years ago I worked with a female colleague at a mental health agency.
She was very competent and skilled in working with our clients, yet very brusque and short with caregivers and other adults.
For instance, when calling a foster caregiver, she barely said "hello" before launching into her reason for calling.
Sometimes she didn't even say, "Hello." Some complained.
I have stood at reception desks and counters, waiting while the person on the other side talks on the phone, ignoring that I'm even there.
Am I asking too much for that person to at least acknowledge that I'm standing there?
One of my pet projects is modifying the behavior of some cashiers at a local market to greet me with "hello," rather than "paper of plastic?"
Can't that important question of what to put my groceries in wait for a simple "good morning"?
So now, when I'm asked "paper or plastic?" I respond with "good morning (or afternoon or evening), and how are you today?"
Then I give them that very important information - "plastic, please."
I must say, though, that the management at that market is friendly and they go out of their way to greet me.
I can always count on "hello there, how are you?" while looking over the fresh produce.
While I know that chit-chat can consume a lot of time and hold up a check-out line, it is important.
In all settings, it breaks the ice, warms feelings and sets a pleasant tone for a conversation.
Doesn't it feel good to have someone open a door for you?
I recall opening a door for a mature female.
She looked at me with utter disdain and asked me what I thought I was doing.
I still held it for her - she finally walked through without a "by your leave," "thank you," or even "don't let it hit you in the rump."
Once through the door she turned at me with the warning, "Don't ever do that for me again."
On the flip side of this coin, I've had women open doors for me with a smile and friendly greeting.
I try to practice what I preach. I still open and hold doors for people without selectivity. I try to practice this politeness on the highways.
Several times lately I've let other drivers into the traffic lane ahead of me.
I feel good when I'm acknowledged and thanked with a wave of the hand rather than the lifting of a finger.
I feel good when the person at the window at McDonald's smiles when handing me a cup of coffee.
It's nice when the person behind the drive-through window at the bank greets me with, "Hi there. How are you?"
I look forward to seeing Bill Martin or Pete Weaver at the post office - they always have a cheerful word.
Perhaps just this small social nicety - being cheerful and polite - will eventually reinstate more civility and charity to our messages, conversations and relationships with each other.
Polite greetings will always bring a smile to someone's face.
I'll have a simple "good morning," thank you very much.